Healthy Relationships Include Masturbation

Masturbation is a taboo that often causes anxiety and conflict in relationships. Are you doing it? Or your partner doing it? Is it happening too often? Is it okay? As it turns out, masturbation is perfectly normal both in and out of a relationship.

Many people, especially women, are taught early on to feel a certain shame about their bodies. This is especially true for the topic of masturbation. Conservative views or religious upbringings often implant feelings of guilt when it comes to curiosity about the human body or the desire for pleasure. As a result, many people grow up with mixed feelings about masturbation. Sure, it feels good, but is it okay?

These dubious feelings can become further complicated when a partner is involved. You may wonder if they masturbate when you aren’t around, or you may walk in on them masturbating and wonder how to address it. Seeing or knowing your partner masturbates may cause uncomfortable feelings. Masturbating without your partner may do the same.

Here’s the truth. In most relationships, sexual desires don’t meet up. One of you probably desires sex more than the other, which is perfectly normal. Or it’s possible that your libidos match well, but your schedules differ wildly, leaving little time for romance. You may be in a long distance relationship, or have a partner who is frequently out of town. These are all fine reasons to masturbate.

The best way to handle masturbation in a relationship is not to skirt around it. There’s no reason for it to be a great secret between you and your partner. If they walk in on you, or you walk in on them, odds are it’s nothing you haven’t seen before. Maybe they would like some alone time, or maybe they would like you to join in. Don’t be afraid to ask. Try to be honest about your masturbation habits, as well as your consumption of porn or other erotic media. These are areas where you and your partner may be uncomfortable, but honesty prevents misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

By talking openly about masturbation, you prevent it from becoming taboo in your own relationship. Don’t feel guilty about indulging, and be sure that both of you understand that masturbation means nothing about how you desire each other. Remember masturbation is normal, and can be a welcome part of any healthy relationship.

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